Yesterday I sold a newspaper ad to a woman who makes soap.

Today I unsold her.

I have this new job – publisher of a local community newspaper. We’re one of the few still doing OK right now. It’s a good newspaper in a tight-knit community.

But it’s still hard to sell ads – the things that pay the bills.

So I was very happy when I sold a quarter page to a woman who makes beautiful handmade soaps.

But after our conversation, I got to thinking: You know, she’s better off advertising in May rather in March. That’s when more of her customers will see her ad. So I unsold her. She’s in May now – and I have a bigger climb to reach my March target.

What’s curious is the feelings and thoughts that went through my mind – and my body – during this whole thing.

There was something that felt not quite right about selling her this ad. But at the same time, I liked the idea of the income.

But once I decided to go with what my gut was saying, everything in my body relaxed.

Sometimes I notice myself gripping on to money, squeezing it tight because if I don’t, I might lose it. After years growing up hearing the words “we can’t afford it,” every dollar feels hard fought.

But maybe it’s better to question that feeling. Maybe I can loosen my grip and do what seems right. And maybe… strangely… that will help my income too.

This client was happy with my advice. In some way, that seems like a win.